Mustard seed faith

I've lately been thinking of a passage that I've heard my entire life in an entirely new way. Most young Christians are taught that if you have faith even as small as a mustard seed you can tell a mountain to throw itself into the sea and it will happen. I guess this was supposed to be encouraging, but for me all it really taught was that my faith was so small I couldn't even say it was the size of a mustard seed. Later in life this just became a reality I lived with, I didn't save people's lives or fly because I didn't have enough faith... God couldn't use me because he was waiting for me to have more faith. This just fed the lie that I didn't have faith which was a huge barrier to me as a teen and a constant struggle. But a few weeks ago I realized something, in the passage he's not saying that the size of the faith is relevant, he's saying the opposite. A person could have practically no faith at all and still bring about a miracle because it is God who performs the miracle not us. God does not wait for us to have a certain amount of faith or the right anything, he talked through a donkey once. What Jesus meant is that God's glory will be done through one's life, no matter how much faith they have. This takes it out of our control and out of our understanding, but life is a journey and I hope to take many more steps into the Glory of God. I have yet to perform a miracle, but that's ok (maybe not all the time, it would be fun) because I will never perform a miracle, God may use me for one though.
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